If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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