Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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