WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
