Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
