I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
