youre lurking in front of me
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
