you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
