About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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