We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
