so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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