Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
