Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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