she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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