wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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