Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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