do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
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