Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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