I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
