maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
