If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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