By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He? As in you personified your dick?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
