the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
