Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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