Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
