I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
