Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
