addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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