if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
