puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
it's like iHOP with fire
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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