I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
