Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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