I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
