I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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