I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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