PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
