He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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