dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
