i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
