is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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