i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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