for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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