Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
