Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
