So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
