I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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