i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
