so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
