Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
