I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
