i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
