She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
