when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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